I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
