I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
