did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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