you guys were way drunker than both of me
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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