I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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