When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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