I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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