There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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