Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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