Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
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I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
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I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize