My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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