We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Liz is crying about burritos again.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
