You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
