I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize