Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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