I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
