There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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