Please don't use social media to get back at me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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Everclear isn't food dammit
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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