I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
