By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
