Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
