so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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