But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
