I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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