swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
