i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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