It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
wow bdsm is so cute
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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