Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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