it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
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She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
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My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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