is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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