Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You took a bar mat shot.
ttyl tear gas
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Randomize
