I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
