Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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