am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
