This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
