You're my little dorito
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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