the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
