I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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