is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
