do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
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Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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