No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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