Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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