My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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