i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
