i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
false alarm, still single
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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