Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
