Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
