She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
