Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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