I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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