Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
