I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize