I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
