i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
