If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
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two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
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The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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