There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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